Apparently the itch was in his spleen because that thing was deep. Now, millions of people annually undergo all types of surgery with the help of these pain-relieving medications. I promised him I'd do better and next year I would be back down to a healthy weight. The only thing that was stolen was a wine bottle in a brown paper bag. Not the guy who is desperate/who can't face his HIV/ who lake of knowledge/who trust a witch, but the f***** monsters that take advantage of weak people and risking their life/are responsible for their death. Patient was a young child who came in with an extremely high Blood Glucose level. He came back with it full of his piss. Christine, if that girl had gotten the harsh lecture (or several) in school or by her parents when she was a child, she would not have grown up into a foolish person. sex ed is very crucial - PPL NEED TO LEARN IT. She sat in the waiting room for over an hour with that thing in there. Patient: Aisle six. It wasn't until I was in the doctor's office that I noticed that it had exactly the same pattern as the inlet cover on our jacuzzi. Husband Under Anesthesia Forgets Wife Lost 77 lbs & Can’t Stop Hitting On Her. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. When she turned to her side, stool the size and shape of a small baby or big burrito slid out and I caught it. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”, I can picture the nurse facepalming in my head. Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. I wasn't feeling anything until the exact moment of contact with my cheek. I was just laying there on my side blowing chunks with the needle still stuck in my ass. This might have pissed off the doctor. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. Told patient he needed reading glasses which he didn't believe. "She seemed really stoic and introverted when I first interviewed her but when I was dropping her in the recovery room she went into total bro mode," one doctor wrote. This is a real story submitted to a Reddit board: My favorite is a true story. That wouldn't cause this, right? I honestly think she believed that he was just really itchy. A father brought in his 20-year old son convinced he had early signs of diabetes since his hair was greasy. I mean, that antiseptic smell, the silence (of the lambs) of the waiting room except for the odd groan and sniffle, the weird sounds your doctor makes while assessing the situation and most of all the unpleasant procedures. A related story from my friend, a Gynecologic Oncologist.Basically a woman had early uterine cancer, but refused surgery. Perhaps needless to say the patient was lost to followup. Her mom asked me to adjust her scrotum. If you are viewing this on the new Reddit layout, please take some time and look at our wiki (/r/step1/wiki) as it has a lot of valuable information regarding advice and approaches on taking Step 1, along with analytical statistics of study resources. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. I was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my life as a doctor. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. Most of the cases are simple misunderstandings whose can happen to anyone. HES ALLERGIC TO WATER! Could not be convinced otherwise. Said every boy pet ever- upon waking up after trip to the the vet. It took me some effort to keep a straight face, but we eventually resolved the problem and she stopped getting UTIs. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. It also apparently had "frequencies for arthritis". Me: Sir, I need to know why you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your HIV.Him: Well I met this witch online that...Me: Wait, did you just said "witch"?Him: Yeah, she sent me a bunch of herbs every month to cure my HIV, and they worked, last time i checked I was cured.Me: Where and what tests did you do to know you were cured?Him: I made an online test that the witch told me to, they were a lot of random questions but in the end it said that I was free of HIV.Me: Ooook, we will need to do a blood test to confirm that. See the funny things people said after waking up from anesthesia. Turns out the woman had been in a hetero relationship for a few years and never got pregnant despite using no protection. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. That's bad education. Pharmacist, but comment still relates.Had a lady call in complaining that their husbands viagra wasn't working. "No, I think you're the idiot who lied and was getting treated for pneumonia instead of getting the proper treatment for crack lung, which is what he had. For those who don't know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm.He would regularly come into the hospital to have it turned off because he would do a ton of cocaine and the thing would keep firing due to his high heart rate.I told him not to do cocaine. He just loves it!”. I was exhausted. "Me too, lady. Some of the patients and their families asked incredible things of me, such as putting brains back inside after an explosion took half the head off, but I have never been as incredulous as when I had to explain "wrong hole" to a very old tribal elder who was wondering why he couldn't father any children. I had him open his mouth, saw nothing. “Fleet enema. Turns out his girlfriend was giving him her female hormonal birth control pills for “extra protection”. 15 Outrageous True Stories of Dumb Employees Reader's Digest Editors Updated: May. I was speaking with a non-controlled diabetic patient about her sugar intake and she said she drinks a 32 oz soda everyday. (To Asian doctor.) Wouldn't help. Melissa Matthews is the Health Writer at Men's Health, covering the latest in food, nutrition, and health. The pieces just didn't add up and so I started questioning him more closely. To the nurse I was just some guy who had walked in and pulled his pants down and left the door open. Not a doctor, but I WAS a corpsman in the Navy. You can read more about it and change your preferences. This story comes from Reddit user funny-chubby-awesome: "My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. I posted this a while back when a similar question was asked: My friend is a student doctor and is on placement at a small town doctor's office. Patient: Drugs! When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.”. In times past, smashing them with a big Bible was recommended. ", Was translating at a medical clinic once. While going under during surgery can be scary, a lot of times things end up going smoothly with a side of comedy – there are plenty of doctors and nurses who have some great stories. by Spencer Althouse. Emergency surgeon hereGot called 2 a.m. because a patient demanded to see me because "her daughters farts smelled too bad"Kept a straight face. I've had a patient claim that amputations run in his family. Not a doctor, but my human sexuality professor in grad school had some interesting stories. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. I looked up at the aide and down at the baby sized poo and back at the aide and did my best not to laugh or make a sound.All I could think of is how I legit felt like I delivered a baby. “How many have you had?” “Two.”. She acted like I was stupid and pointed to the back of her neck.I knew she wouldn't listen as she was so convinced so I stopped arguing with her. A grown woman, with a child, thought that by him having sex, his acne would magically go away.. My mum once had to try explain to a doctor that regardless of tests she has celiacs because google said that if you have celiacs you get sick when eating bread, she just wouldn't accept that as you get older you can't eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting. The doctor tried to calm her down and explain that he's only trying to help them but that she was free to get a second opinion and gave her a copy of the kids prescription and sent them on their way. I yell STOP and immediately try to run over to the sink where I proceed to trip and fall. The target of the verbal attack was a preacher from her church. “Just go back to sleep.” Yehudi is the name of my dog. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. Nursing student, that's not youth. I was a little relieved to learn there were other stories on par with my own. He kept doing cocaine. She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. He had been pissing in his wife, thinking that is how you impregnate someone. again... i can understand some people has less knowledge than other... but that??? Yes, oxygen. She somehow managed to get an audience with the Dalai Lama who told her to go back to western treatment. ""...you've had 20 heart attacks?? Sorry but that isn't how it works. I was doing my rounds and saw a patient out of bed and walking around the floor following a knee replacement. He worked a lot in very conservative Christian communities and so a lot of times people got married with no sex education. Med student here, but I have had two winners.When discussing a precancerous skin lesion on a patient, they opted to use their "laser ray" instead of classic treatment. There was a guy who came to the ER because his iPhone app told him his sleep was poor quality. Patient's skeezy boyfriend was riding in the front with me and apparently saw a golden opportunity to ask a question that had obviously been on his mind for some time.Him: So when cats and dogs eat grass, that means they have cancer, right?Me: Ummm. Anesthesia awareness occurs when a patient under general anesthesia becomes aware of some or all the events during surgery or a procedure, and has direct recall of those events. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. At least not before a spay or neuter. The most outrageous thing I've heard was from a boy who was something like 20-22 years old. "But its isotonic. He finishes with: "But I don't want you to think I'm one of those dirty druggies. I was intubated for a severe attack a few times. A car belonging to a pregnant patient was broken into. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks.He responded, "oh yeah, I've had about 20 of those. Most of these a a fiery statement for decent sex ed!! He paused a second, then thanked me. They ran a couple tests, and everything was coming up normal. 136. A big list of anesthesia jokes! She says it takes about a minute of her massaging before it stops. She wanted to go out for a smoke so I did the whole pregnancy and smoking spiel, she stopped me and told me I knew nothing as the baby would be harmed if she stopped smoking straight away. He had an OBGYN friend who had a couple who couldn’t get pregnant. Lol, why do people think that frames are 'unbreakable' & lenses are 'scratch-proof'. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. My fiance is an X-ray tech. You can always call and ask for clarification when you need it. I'll start... A couple of weeks ago I had foot surgery and had to be put under. Woman's reply would be: That's not a fetus, that's my lunch. He told a nurse to sit there and not let me leave with my parents. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Me: Oh, that’s no problem. 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