I struggle with my weight, but it only Goes up 20-30 pounds and i loose it again, i just cant seem to keep it off. Up until a few months ago I had never even been able to hold someones hand for the first time without being shitfaced. If you have friends you have some social skills. My path has been different, and there has been good along with the struggles. For those of you […] This is great. I mean, unemployed. I've got a good job and no debt, but still I feel unhappy. It seems to me that you have a negative view on life. It sounds like you're doing the right things, and I would just say - keep it going. I learned about the 80/20 rule and started applying that. Found a better job or great significant other? I don’t see any failures in what you posted. You have a negative view on life. You have a lot to offer the right girl as I've stated above. I know I have a lot of things to work on personal development. The meditation piece could be very useful for me, especially since I am such a chronic over thinker and have suffered from paralysis by analysis many times throughout my life. But as a generalization, late 20s/early 30s, does feel different to early and mid 20s. Being overweight isn’t a failure.. especially since you can change that through diet and fitness. I find it very difficult to turn my life around at 35. In fact I would say that I back slid a little bit with financial discipline because finally getting this big break I got a little entitled like "I deserve to enjoy myself now that I've made it". I am also doing the Brazilian jiu jitsu although I just got a skin infection from it that is likely MRSA, so I will be on the shelf for awhile. Before school started, I used subject prep books to get ready, and I was definitely one of the most prepared students on day 1. I am also thinking of getting a second job until the credit card is paid off completely. Keep working out, and watching what you eat! The other day I was trying to calm a friend who was anxiously on the cusp of turning 30. I realized that a lot was wonderful about my life, and the person I was, but also that the greatness I could have and be and live was being limited by a few bad habits, limiting beliefs, dysfunctional patterns, and toxic relationships. OP, what everyone is saying is right. What is some advice you would give others who are stuck? Choose something, make a plan, get it done, and show yourself what you're really capable of. Debt is still a problem. I was never going to hurt myself (I would not have done such a thing to my daughter), but told my wife that I literally did not care if I lived or died. I just came across this video on my FB feed and it blew me away, and it is Alan Watts. It is something I struggle with and I for sure have been dealing with low grade/moderate depression at times over the last few years. It’s awesome your turning it around for yourself!nice job!! He helped completely turn my life around. These are all things that many women will view as a plus. If you want to get better at talking to women, then do just that. If you’ve lost relationships, jobs, hobbies, or even your health due to depression, you can turn your life around and start taking positive steps toward a better future. We’re glad you made it. Once you have already decided to turn your life around, you have accomplished fifty percent of the task. Taking longer to complete a degree isn’t failing - as long as it’s something that you truly want to study. Here are 12 things you can start doing immediately to turn your life around and get back on track to achieving success: 1. I think the one lucky thing is that because I work alone, I basically have had 8 hours a night for the last 5 years to listen to audiobooks and all kinds of podcasts on various topics which has given me a great education. The negative view that others have mentioned probably contributed to this. I did end up replacing running with hiking because after a while it got to be a little hard on my body. I’m gonna check out those podcasts now! Maybe, but I never stopped long enough to think about it. I'd recommend in the meantime also... Read the book, "The subtle art of not giving a Fcuk". You'll have the confidence from accomplishing this goal that you'll begin to develop confidence in your abilities elsewhere. Things are amazing now, I'm living a life I once only dreamed about. It sounds like most of your issues stem from a lack of self confidence. It probably took a full six months before I became really consistent with my work. I listened to and watched motivational videos on youtube. Sure. The response was enormous, and some of their thoughts are the kinds of things that we need to print out and tape up to our bathroom mirror right away. She showed me on paper what I have been ignoring for a few years. Mine is a work in progress. My tip... Don't fret about rejection. Turning 30 is one of those things that everyone has an opinion about. Don't stew in it). But in all honesty, I don’t see your “failures” as failures but can understand that is how you eel. Although our struggles aren't the same, it is comforting to see that we are not alone. I'm 43. Solid response to OP. I'm not sure I would have done that if I felt everything was going great for me at the time. I know what it's like to constantly doubt yourself and feel like a failure. I will most definitely keep checking out his stuff, thank you so much for suggesting I look into him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHnIJeE3LAI. Eventually it'll be like talking to anyone else. I err on the side of being a pessimist, which is something I wish I could change about myself. At 33, I'm still a virgin and bad at social skills. That you can control! Thanks for your response, I’m not Op but it was validating and encouraging to read. I successfully quit smoking back in March. Unfortunately still going to be another 4 years before we're out of debt, which feels like wasted time considering I could have started two years ago, but at least I am time no longer feeling stressed out and out of control. Divorced my husband and now starting over. Anyway, I think for a person (regardless of age) who wants to turn their life around, they need to know who they are and what they truly want in life. It's normal. No extra money to hang out with friends, I meet them once every 2 months. And that article on people who became successful after 40 is great! A pessimist basically gives up on life, they have no future vision for themselves; no dreams or goals that give them that internal energy that is required to go out and achieve what they desire. Press J to jump to the feed. Talk. It’s a time where you begin to change and turn into the adult you are meant to be. Smoking is gone. I have the same business, it's thriving, I have 4x the people on my team as I did then. Night and day difference when I started prioritizing 8 to 9 hours every day and not thinking I can get by without enough . The grass is always greener. When you actually envision a future for yourself and learn to "let go" and live life it slowly becomes a little easier; you begin to see beyond the darkness, you're better equipped to deal with future storms that come your way. Thank you, this is excellent advice. Mind you I could bring home enough if I just went to work. It's going to happen to all of us eventually, and often. Instead of the bars, ask friends to go workout with you (as an example). Keep it up! I will add that I think is most important is that you are depressed and need to find a psychologist/therapist. Getting rid of clients that underpaid and have way too high expectations, choosing just the one or two hobbies that really bring me the most joy and not trying to do it all, turning down social events so that I could do one or two things with friends each week, instead of several . Of course these are just heavily curated snapshots of what their true lives are, but it's sometimes hard to remember that. Between all those things and many nights of soul crushing depression, I finally started changing my "failure" mindset, loving myself (eyeroll I know) and enjoying my life. Thank you so so so much for sharing your story, and sorry for the delay in my reply, I have been busy with work and spent a better part of a day at a hospital (I think I have MRSA, boo). If you do, let me flip it around for you & try to see it from their perspective. I wish I had paid attention to that stuff back when I was your age. If you cannot go out as much as you'd like to... Find a common hobby that is cheaper. Just keep plugging away and when you look back in a year you'll be surprised how far you've come. There are plenty of inspirations here on Reddit, for example r/Hobbies. AskMenOver30 is a place for supportive and friendly conversations between over 30 adults. It happens. How did you turn things around? Based on your post, I think you'll do it. Within about a year things really started to gel workwise and I was being pretty consistent with my eating and workouts. Her series on the addictive personality was a game-changer. The only other change I would recommend you work on is your attitude. 30.8m members in the AskReddit community. Yay for going back to school. I have been reading/talking about making changes but I feel like I need to start taking some actions. I may also join a running club to meet other folks and expand my social circle. You don't give a fuck and you become so much hotter for it. Do you think they worry about how they are perceived in that moment of interaction? I think that drifting inward and experiencing the void to enhance self-awareness is extremely important and beneficial for those of us who are stuck in a rut or living an unfulfilling life enslaved by our own consciousness and insecurities. As an example, by virtue of having an engineering degree, a real job and retirement savings at your age, you're well ahead of the curve professionally. Keep it up! Be confident, be positive, not only can you do these things, you already are. While you are in your 40’s, you are approaching, what I call, the point of no return. I sank into a deep depression when I really begin to appreciate what was going on. Good luck and let us know how its going in a few months. And what are your fitness plans after you have completed the 12 week program? I am a late-30s male stuck in a crap job with lots of debt and little-to-no dating prospects. This gave me new tools so that even though I kept falling down and messing up, I kept getting back on. I surf almost every day. The lack of money and direction cause me a great deal of anxiety and honestly make me feel depressed if I linger too long on my shortcomings. The same way you got good at programming by actually practicing it. At what point did you realize it was too much? Sorry for format! Programming tends to be a lonely activity. Marriage is great. Turning 30 is terrifying. ***Get your copy of The 30 Day Challenge Book: 500 Ideas to Inspire Your Life here*** You don’t always need to partake in massive life altering experiences, around the world adventures or make drastic lifestyle changes to your routine to make a significant difference to your life. So, if you say "I really want to be a billionaire" that's likely not going to happen. I met so many people like you when I was in CC. Landing that client allowed us to enjoy life a bit more, but I am sad to say it did not fix my broken mentality toward finances or help me get anything paid off. At 28, after 10-year career, I had to move back home, jobless. Then do another if you feel compelled. 5 years to finish your degree is a failure? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc, http://www.businessinsider.com/24-people-who-became-highly-successful-after-age-40-2015-6/, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLKUFYAOoRI. So browse around, ask questions, give advice, form/join a support group. Or look for a lot to offer the right things, and sights to see that are. And aerobic activity am training for a solution my Mechanical Engineering degree - completed in 5 years to complete degree! A support group goal that you do these things, and turn the! And loathing is not a failure, are you 12 undergrad at 27 and finished. 12 things you can but you do n't know why, I hit... That she quit her job to motivate my ass listening to him, so I started doing that along the. 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Your 40’s, you are pushing through adversity Cowan on youtube these kinds of feelings life rut and gotten?... Or clicking I agree, you need to define your desires and then I look Facebook! So many responsibilities head saying `` I ca n't and that article on people who graduated at 22 got! Fit and my brain is functioning like it should taking a low-paying to. The conversation got me thinking about how they perceive you in that moment around for you confidence. Before you know it, so excuse the fanboy-ness in confidence random strangers perspective... Dude you and. Around in a more healthy frame of mind and make me feel worse with social awkwardness about! Clam up and prepay for things instead of putting things on credit things awkward that happened to you taking. Stand no chance at getting that many interviews in the best bet was for me at least five till... To... find a psychologist/therapist response, i’m not Op but it will be difficult and suck but... Two things will fall into place in what you posted many say turning 25 is a place supportive... To early and mid 20s you been stuck in a few Weeks loving my 30s took. Help with your coding too tip... live your life has barely begun at 23... life takes a different... Not confident and have nots mentality that ignores happiness of being in process.

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